Allies, Mentors, Advisors, and Your Expectations
Save yourself the disappointment by knowing the difference
There is a distinct difference between an academic advisor, an ally, and a mentor. Knowing how to identify each could save you a lot of disappointment, wasted time, and, in many cases, serious money.
So today I’ll touch on how I think about the 3.
1. The Ally
An ally is someone who “puts you on,” according to the young(er) people. They ride alongside you, recommend you in casual conversation, and genuinely want to see you win.
This might look like a supervisor introducing you to higher-ups and going the extra mile to highlight your best work and why it matters.
If you are a ‘minority’, like me, it is paramount that you find an ally… or a few, especially while navigating your formative years.
You’ll come to find that your ally advocates for you and sometimes speaks up when you do not have the capacity to defend yourself. It’s a “we ride at dawn” type of energy.
It’s very easy to spot an ally by the way they naturally advocate for other people.
In return, though they never explicitly ask for anything in return, you’d jump at the opportunity to put in a good word for them.
2. The Mentor
A mentor provides the roadmap for the journey ahead, offering wisdom across various pillars of life, from your finances to your personal growth, because they’ve walked a similar path before.
Having that roadmap means you aren't just guessing. You’re moving faster. You’re avoiding common pitfalls. You’re making informed choices based on a broader perspective.
You may have multiple mentors at one time.
3. The Academic Advisor
In graduate school, an advisor is often the Principal Investigator (PI) on your project. Their role is primarily functional. They are there to help you choose the right classes, highlight funding opportunities, and ensure that you meet graduation requirements.
While these relationships can transition into mentorship, it isn’t a given.
In undergraduate studies, this is even more primitive. You may only meet with your academic advisor once or twice a year for a reality check.
My encounter with my pre-med advisor taught me early on that an advisor tracks your credits and progress, nothing more.
The Reality Check
Many people mistakenly expect their academic advisor to be their mentor or their ally. While it’s absolute gold if you find all three in one person, this is rarely the case.
Understanding the difference early will save you a tremendous amount of heartache.
I know students who were crushed when they realized that their academic advisor was neither an ally nor a mentor.
This realization is usually revealed in the most critical moment. For example, when a request for a recommendation letter is met with a flat-out “no,” or worse, a negative or lukewarm letter that does more harm than good.
I think being an ally is a personal calling.
It isn’t written into an advisor’s official job description.
Finding a Mentor
In the same token, you should 100% have a mentor. You do not know everything. I guarantee you, every “successful” person has had a mentor, or still has one.
It is your responsibility to find a mentor.
How to find a mentor:
Know where you want to go/ what you want to accomplish
Find someone who does that thing
Ask the right questions (because everyone isn’t cut out to be your mentor)
Stalk (I say this lightly and in the most legal way) LinkedIn posts
Have the courage to reach out and ask to be mentored
It is an active search. It requires you to move. Don’t let that fly over your head.
Allies, on the other hand, often find you in spaces of shared interests and/or advocacy.
The Delicate Dance
To build these networks, you must show up to the best of your ability. It is important that you give the person the confidence to recommend you by your demeanor and/or work ethic.
It’s a delicate dance of being personable without oversharing, unless it’s your spiritual mentor.
I’ve been fortunate to find advocates and mentors who have helped me navigate the complexities of business, my environmental career path, and life. Without them, the journey would have been far more difficult, and I am eternally grateful.
I am always willing to be an ally or a mentor. If you’re looking to connect, let’s chat in the comments or find me on LinkedIn.